Chaos 23/1/17
(A video package plays, recapping last week’s Chaos.) SEGMENT 1: Hideo Itami comes out to a huge pop from the crowd. Itami holds the International Championship over his shoulder and walks down to the ring. Itami: A few weeks ago, that bastard Kota Ibushi made his return to Chaos… Despite being fired at Vindication. And then he was given a championship match against me, in the main event of Gates to Valhalla of all places, despite getting knocked out by me not one, not two, but THREE times. So for that I have to ask, Shane McMahon, are you fucking retarded? I have had enough of the disrespect here. I am the goddamn International Champion, undefeated and undisputed. I am the knockout king, and instead of holding me to the standard I deserve to be at, you give me competition like Kota Ibushi? I shouldn’t even sign the damn contract for the match. I’ve given this championship equal prestige to the World Heavyweight Championship and Shane McMahon still treats me like shit. I regret ever fighting HYDRA for you. At least when Dario Cueto was around I had the respect I deserved as champion. Fuck Shane, and fuck Ibushi. I’m going to defend this championship against anyone who wants to come out and get their fucking head kicked off. So if anyone has the guts to stand before the most dominant man on Chaos… I’m waiting right here. Itami drops the championship and throws his shirt into the crowd… KENTA KOBASHI COMES OUT TO A STANDING OVATION FROM THE CROWD! Kobashi is in a suit as he makes his way down to the ring and comes face to face with Itami… AND SLAPS HIM HARD IN THE FACE! Kobashi: Is this what you learned from me? Hmm? To disrespect authority, to spit in the face of competition, and to back out of a fight just because you have a chip on your shoulder and don’t think you deserve it? Do not disgrace me, Hideo. I took you in like a SON and made you everything you are today. I am proud to see that you have come this far in your career. Do you think I became the greatest superstar in Japan by acting disrespectful and cursing at my authority? You should go back there and apologize to Shane McMahon after this, because face it, without him you would have never gotten your shot at the International Championship in the first place. You are seen as an equal to the World Champion, Hideo, that’s why at GTV you are main eventing over six of the top stars on Chaos… Because I am very proud to say that in my eyes at least, you ARE the top star of Chaos. Now I understand that you are upset, and I understand that Kota Ibushi is in fact a deplorable person… But that’s all the more reason to destroy him at GTV, prove yourself as the TOP champion of Chaos, and go into Dominion of Wrestling as the most dominant champion in this entire company. Kobashi pats Itami on the back and starts to walk away… BUT KOTA IBUSHI JUMPS OUT OF THE CROWD WITH A STEEL CHAIN AND WHIPS IT AT KOBASHI’S FACE!!! Itami runs to the ropes… AND FLIES OVER BUT IBUSHI CATCHES HIM WITH A ROUNDHOUSE TO THE CHEST!!! Ibushi takes out another steel chain and drags Itami to the steel post… AND TIES HIM UP!!! Ibushi sees Kobashi starting to get up and takes the chain… AND LOCKS HIM INTO A CROSSFACE WITH THE CHAIN!!! IBUSHI HOLDS KOBASHI IN THE CROSSFACE WITH THE CHAIN!!! Medical staff and officials come out to detain Ibushi. Ibushi is taken back by the referees while medical staff checks on Kobashi. MATCH 1: Roderick Strong vs Hiromu Takahashi Strong hits the Sick Kick at 15 minutes for the win. After the match, BUSHI and EVIL come down and beat down on Strong. Cien Almas comes out afterwards with the Pure Championship strapped around one of his legs, dragging on the floor behind him. Almas: What a tragedy… Do you understand me now, Roderick? Do you understand what happens when your greed consumes you? You have become a slave to this championship and you don’t even realize it. Roderick, what I do to you at Gates to Valhalla may seem like punishment, cruelty, and torture to others but I hope that you can truly understand that what I will do is a mercy. I have hurt one hundred souls but now my quest begins to save one hundred more, and you are the first. The Pure Championship is not worth the evil that comes with chasing this title, and when Los Ingobernables conquers the rest of the championships of Chaos… Then everyone will be spared from the evil, and shown the light. LOS! Los Ingobernables raise their fists while the crowd boos. SEGMENT 2: Tommy End comes out to a huge pop from the crowd. End: Minoru Suzuki, let’s just cut to the chase. I know you were scheduled to speak on your actions last week but I don’t want to hear it. I know why you’re here. You’re upset because I threw you out of the Royal Rumble and ruined your shitty little debut. Boo-hoo. I don’t think you understand who I am, Minoru, because you just made enemies with the wrong man. So let’s cut the chat and get to the point. You want to fight, I want to fight, we don’t have to wait until GTV. Come on down and let’s settle this. Minoru Suzuki’s theme hits and he comes out to a mixed reaction from the crowd. Suzuki: No End. You don’t understand who I am. I am Minoru Suzuki, the franchise, the emperor, and the commander of the most feared army in Japan. Not the Bullet Club, not Los Ingobernables, not Kobashi and Misawa, but the Suzuki-Gun. I left that behind me in Japan to make my name on the biggest stage in the world, but that’s all I left behind - the physical army. Not the mindset which made me the most feared name in Japanese wrestling -- End: Okay, how about you shut up and listen for a second before you go along sucking your own dick any longer. I don’t care that you had a group of jobbers following you around aimlessly. You NEVER accomplished anything. Were you an IWGP World Champion? No. So you may have been good. You have may have been great… But you are forgettable. You are not on the ranks of Kenta Kobashi or Mitsuharu Misawa. You are not on the level of even Shinsuke Nakamura, Hiroshi Tanahashi, or Kazuchika Okada. You’re not on the level of Tommy End. Like I said. Get in the ring and let’s settle this, so shut your mouth. Suzuki: Relax. I don’t recommend you piss me off or you’ll regret it. You really don’t understand who I am. The titles don’t mean as much in the end. I live in the moment, not over accomplishments… I love to hurt people, slowly and methodically. I am going to hurt you for embarrassing me. But I won’t give you what you want either. I am a bastard of a man… And you’re going to find out I have nothing to lose when I destroy you at Gates to Valhalla, by any means necessary. But for tonight… Enjoy this. Suzuki turns and walks away… AND DREW GULAK ATTACKS END FROM BEHIND!!! Gulak smashes End’s face into the match and puts End into an armbar until he passes out from the pain. Gulak walks away while End vs Gulak is announced for later tonight. MATCH 2: Big Damo and Hiroshi Tanahashi vs BUSHI and EVIL EVIL pins Tanahashi at 13 minutes after a death valley driver following a distraction from Sanada. After the match, Damo takes down BUSHI and EVIL but Sanada and Rush attack him. Los Ingobernables stand over Tanahashi and Damo as their theme song plays… AND TETSUYA NAITO COMES OUT TO A ROAR FROM THE CROWD!!! Naito slowly makes his way down to the ring with a microphone in hand and kicks Damo out of the ring. Naito stands over Tanahashi and raises the mic to speak. Naito: … Los. Naito drops the microphone and does the eye taunt over Tanahashi with Los Ingobernables raising their fists behind him. SEGMENT 4: Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn vs Shinsuke Nakamura and Neville is announced for the main event. Kevin Owens is backstage talking to Shane McMahon when Sami Zayn comes up to him. Zayn: What the hell is this man? You walk out on me last week and then you ignore my phone calls all week. Are you really going back to the same old bullshit now? Owens: No, I’m not. I didn’t walk out on you, Sami. I walked out because I was disappointed in myself. Two nights in a row I let El Steenerico down. Two nights in a row I let you down. You saved my career and my life in Trial by Combat and I repaid you by costing you the tag team titles and another chance to face the champions. Zayn: I don’t care man. Those titles are gone from our grasps but another one lies in hand. Two more weeks until the Elimination Chamber man, so we need all the momentum we can get. Now get your head in the game because we have a main event to win tonight. Owens: You’re right. Let’s get ready and kick some ass. Owens bumps fist and walks away while Shane and Zayn begin to discuss something in private… And a loud bang is heard from across the room! ???: HEY! HEY! STOP THAT BASTARD! AJ Styles is seen running after someone but stops short when he sees Shane. Styles: Some piece of shit just threw Finn against the wall and smashed a cinderblock over his head! He’s not moving or responding, get some fucking medics here now! Styles and Shane walk back towards Finn who is laid out on the ground unconscious. Medics come by and check on Finn, before stretchering away. One of the medics tells Shane it doesn’t look good. Shane: Motherfucker. We’ll take care of this AJ. We’re going to go check the cameras now and try to find that guy. Styles: You worry about finding that guy, I’ll go check with the cameramen. I’m going to kill that fucker when I see him. Styles storms off while Shane gets in touch with security. MATCH 3: Chris Jericho vs TJ Perkins Perkins hits the Detonation Kick at 12 minutes to get the win following a distraction by Mark Haskins. Haskins and Perkins beat down on Jericho… UNTIL TYLER BREEZE MAKES THE SAVE! Breeze sends Haskins packing with a supermodel kick and throws Perkins over the top rope. Breeze helps Jericho up and Jericho hugs Breeze in tears, thanking him for saving his life. Breeze pushes Jericho away and shakes his head before walking to the back while Jericho sobs in the ring. SEGMENT 4: Jericho is backstage looking around the locker room. Jericho: Tyler? TYLER? TYLER!!! Jericho sees Breeze hiding behind a locker and Breeze shakes his head as Jericho comes up to him. Breeze: What… the hell… do you want? Jericho: You haven’t given me a chance to thank you properly and especially after saving me tonight too… I made you this. Jericho presents Breeze with a hand-knitted scarf. Jericho: That’s the Gift of Jericho.... PUT IT ON MAAAN!!! Breeze: What is this garbage? Jericho: It’s a matching scarf… Since we’re best friends now right? Breeze: No. I can’t deal with your stupid commitment issues. I don’t care that Adam Cole betrayed you. We aren’t friends. We never were friends. We’ll never be friends. We are opponents, so why don’t you get that through your head? Look Chris, I respect you as a legend and couldn’t bear to see you kill yourself. So I’m really sorry that I have to do this but… BREEZE NAILS JERICHO WITH THE SUPERMODEL KICK!!! Breeze then takes the scarf and drops it on Jericho. Breeze: And by the way… That’s a scarf for uggos. Breeze walks away while Jericho sobs on the ground. SEGMENT 5: Hideo Itami is walking backstage furiously. Itami shoves some staff out of his way and kicks Shane McMahon’s door in. Itami: WHERE IS KOTA IBUSHI, YOU SON OF A BITCH? HOW DARE YOU GIVE THAT BASTARD A CONTRACT? HOW DARE YOU GIVE HIM A MATCH AGAINST ME -- McMahon: Woah! Calm down! I didn’t sign him knowing he’d join HYDRA and do all this. He was meant to be a one-off deal but popular demand is why I gave him the type of contract he had. And I don’t appreciate being spoken to like that. I don’t care how big of a star you are, you are not bigger than the show and you will not show me this type of disrespect. Itami: Let’s just remember that the only reason HYDRA isn’t here anymore is because of me. I didn’t go through hell in WarGames just to be treated like this and shown my win meant nothing when HYDRA member Kota Ibushi is still signed to Chaos. McMahon: Hideo, I understand. I’m sorry that this is an unfair situation. Honestly, Kota Ibushi left, but is there anything else I can do to make this any better? Itami: I want to end Kota Ibushi once and for all at Gates to Valhalla. I’m not satisfied with just knocking him out anymore. I’m going to make him scream for mercy… Because it’s going to be an I Quit match. And if he loses… I want him out of Chaos. McMahon: After what he did to Kenta Kobashi tonight, deal. The match is on. Itami nods and walks away while McMahon signs some paperwork. MATCH 4: Kalisto and Aerostar vs TM-61 Thorne pins Kalisto at 5 minutes after the Rolling Elbow. After the match, The Motor City Machine Guns come out to boos from the crowd. SEGMENT 6: The Motor City Machine Guns enter the ring. Sabin: Go fuck yourselves you ingrateful imbeciles. Shelley: Seriously, how are you going to boo us? You hate us because we’re the best… how typical. Losers don’t appreciate success because they’ll never have it. Everyone loved us when we were the underdogs, but now that we’ve become the greatest team of all time, everyone hates us. Don’t worry about these morons Chris. Sabin: You’re right. We have something more important to focus on for Gates to Valhalla. Honestly, TM-61, you guys have been on quite a roll lately. Impressive wins back to back, can’t say we aren’t surprised. You guys are capable of great things… but not yet. Not while we’re champions. We don’t even have to list all of our defenses, but our last two matches should speak for themselves. Twice in a row, two nights in a row, we pinned a former World Champion. Shelley: Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn are two of the greatest superstars and one of the most significant teams ever to exist… Yet they are nothing to us. And neither are you two. The MCMG drop their mics and walk to the back while TM-61 stares them down. SEGMENT 7: The ring is set up with a blackboard and two stools. Jack Gallagher comes out to a huge pop from the crowd and walks down to the ring dressed in a suit. Gallagher: Good day ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Gentleman Jack Gallagher’s School of Excellence in Chivalry and Decency. Today, by request of prospective student Jimmy Havoc, who tweeted after last week’s show that he would like to learn to be a gentleman like yours truly, I will be teaching a multi-lesson course on how to be a gentleman. You see a true gentleman aims to pass down his knowledge of the art, to even the most deplorable degenerate folk - yes, even Jimmy Havoc. So Mr. Jimothy, why don’t you come on down and let’s let the lessons begin. Jimmy Havoc comes out to a mixed reaction. Havoc is wearing a suit with holes and demonic symbols drawn all over it. Havoc has glasses on with a notebook and pen. Havoc: Good evening Professor Gallagher! Gallagher: And good day to you too sir. That was a proper introduction Jimmy, I’m surprised. Havoc: Well I’ve been practicing all fucking week. Gallagher: Sigh… Let’s get to lesson one shall we. Watch your words! Oftentime we are given only one chance to make one strong first impression, so we should not tarnish it with profanities and indecent words. Our words after all are a reflection of our mindset, which leads me to lesson two. Gain a new perspective on life sir! There’s no need to be so hateful and evil. There are finer things to enjoy and appreciate. Say, for example, instead of such dark drab clothes, you could start wearing suits! Perhaps get rid of that emo haircut and style it with some class like I do myself. I can even show you how. Havoc: Gee golly Professor! I sure am learning a lot! Gallagher: Come on Jimothy. Lesson three is to change your attitude. Stop with the Hot-Topic 2005 emo kid gimmick already. I know you’re capable of so much better. Let’s examine some of the positive things in life eh? What are some things you like? Havoc: Murder. Blood. Bitches. Tits. Ass. Whores. Satan. Demonic sacrifice. Ouija boards. Taylor Swift. Killing kittens. Gallagher: Uhm… that’s quite the list. But no worries! Look at this! Shakespeare! How about reading one of these? Havoc: Nah. I like reading fake wrestling on the internet better. Gallagher: Seems like there’s no helping you. I just suppose some people aren’t cut out to be gentlemen. Havoc: Nope, not me. So quit wasting my time - I’m going to make like high school and drop out. Gallagher: Wait… Well before you leave I guess there’s one more lesson I can teach you. But this isn’t on how to be a gentleman. This a lesson about Jack Gallagher - You don’t mess with Jack Gallagher. GALLAGHER DROPS THE MIC AND TAKES HAVOC DOWN WITH A SPINEBUSTER!!! Gallagher stomps all over Havoc but Havoc rolls out and escapes while Gallagher stares him down from the ring. SEGMENT 8: Charly Caruso is standing backstage. Caruso: Ladies and gentlemen, at this time I have a news update on Finn Balor. Standing by is the General Manager Shane McMahon. McMahon: Well there’s some good news and bad news. The good news is, Kenta Kobashi has been cleared from a nearby hospital. The bad news for Finn is… He’s going to miss Gates to Valhalla. He’s in the hospital currently, still unconscious, and doctors believe he is in a coma. Chances are he’s going to miss DOW too. We have no word yet, but his replacement will be decided at Gates to Valhalla. That’s all I have for now, and I’ll do my best to keep everyone updated. Caruso: Thank you Shane. McMahon walks back to his office. MAIN EVENT: Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens vs Shinsuke Nakamura and Neville Neville pins Owens after a Kinshasa from Nakamura, finishing him off with the Red Arrow at 16 minutes. After the match, Zayn helps Owens on but Owens shoves Zayn away and walks to the back. Zayn follows him angrily while the show comes to an end with Nakamura and Neville celebrating in the ring.